Thursday, 26 May 2011

Over-protective parents

Situation #1 :
I am 13 years old and just entered into high school. I have skipped a grade, so I am one year younger then everybody else. I have made mistakes in the past, but nothing too serious. I was caught at a highschool party, but I was not drinking or smoking. Now, my dad has zero trust for me, and he will not do anything to change it. I have three brothers, and I am the only girl. They are 20, 18, and 8. I need help on finding ways to let my dad gradually trust me, because at this point I cannot even go to a friends house, even if he calls me every twenty minutes..

Situation #2 :
I am the 18 year old daughter of two very, very overprotective parents. I realise I am but one person and my opinion does no reflect the opinions of the entire teenage population, but here's what I have to say:

First of all, I do know that all they want for me is the best, for me to be safe and to grow up and be successful, but I also have to say that my overprotective parents drive me absolutely nuts.
I hate they way they make me feel as though I am untrustworthy and not capable of making my own decisions. I feel like a 5 year old child, always looking for approval and guidance from my parents. I shouldn't feel like this, I can vote for my country's Prime Minister, I am legally allowed to drink and I have my own licence. I do not understand why they think I am not capable of mature decisions. The law enforcement and the Government of this country thinks I can, why don't my parents?
My entire life they have forbidden me from seeing friends outside of school, unless it's a heavily supervised activity somewhere 'safe' i.e a friend's house or somwhere like a public swimming pool. I went through highschool an outcast as a result of my parents' reluctance to let me participate in activities outside of school such as weekend parties and shopping trips. Very occassionally I am allowed to join in with my few friends, after many calls between my parents and the parents of the host of the event. The result of this being my friends, and even their 'laidback' parents, thinking my parents were odd and very strict. My friends eventually gave up inviting me places because they already knew what my parents's answer would be: "NO!" My parents do not realise that that is how peers my age make close friends, they do 'fun' things together. They also do not realise that this is how we learn to deal with the real world. I've been in quite a few situations where I have had to call upon friends for help dealing with it, because I did know how to myself and I did not want my already 'too involved' parents to have anything to do with it.
I just wish Mum and Dad could see this, and feel how I feel. I've tried explaining to them how their overprotectiveness has affected me, but they do not seem to understand. The still believe they are doing the best for me by restricting my ability to think for myself.
In short, it's made me crazy and I wish, everyday, that my parents were different.

Situation #3 :
My parents wont trust me they wont even give me a chance. I cant even go out with a friend. Im 16, n im not allowed to go on a date. I FINALLY HAVE A GOOD BOYFRIEND! we have been going out 4 a year n I only get to c him when he comes over 2 days a week. Im not like other girls that act stupid They need to trust me they had a life why cant they let me have one. MY HAIR IS FALLING OUT BECAUSE OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!

I googled for an issues about "Teens with overprotective parents". You know why? Because I'm in their shoes. We're in the same boat. I feel what they feel. I have an over-protective and very strict Dad or to be exact, family. It's not that I despise my family. What I'm trying to say here is I don't like the way they treat me. I am nineteen years old girl and I don't think that I should be treated this way. I know I've made a lot of mistakes before. I lied a lot that's why they don't trust me anymore. I know that is all my very own faults. If they could ever understand, I never wanted to lie. NEVER! I want to let them know everything. Every little things that I do, without feeling scared of their reactions. I've tried to tell them the truth but all I've got is frustration almost every time. For example, if I wanna go hang out with friends and I asked for my dad's permission, he answered me with a disappointed answer which is "NO". So many times, till I fed up to ask for his permission and just do whatever I want without telling them first. Truth be told, I hate doing that, I hate lying to them. If they could be more open minded and more flexible, I guess this will not happen. Ever.  

I am truly jealous seeing those daughters who has parents as their best friends. They can tell everything about their life and what they're doing to their parents. I always want to be like them. I have 6 siblings but none of them are close to me. I know that's so pathetic. Nobody in this family can understand me and they don't know me very well. If they think they know me, I can tell that they're wrong. If they want the best for me, why can't I have the best from them? I'm not doing anything that is forbidden or illegal. I know my limits. They don't have to be worry like mad. 

"You can not teach a child to take care of themselves unless you will let them try. They will make mistakes, and out of these mistakes will come their wisdom."

When I start my college life, I felt a bit released and relieved. I don't have to feel so much pressure as I'm far away from them. I hate long holidays which means I need to stay at home for a long time. Unlike other students who love it when it comes to long holidays, I'm different. I've been keeping this feeling for God knows how long. I can't wait to escape from all of this. Really. I'll be waiting for the day to come. I want freedom. Freedom without any lies. Full freedom. I wish I can tell them exactly what I've type here, I bet they won't understand. I will rely on the times and  a little efforts from me to change everything. And I hope that Dad will change his attitudes and negative thoughts. 

This is just an expression. This is what and how I feel having a over-protective parents.  For other teenagers who has got the freedom in young ages, you should know that you're lucky. Use it wisely.  


  1. hye Syeira..yerp..i understand what u feel..believe me there are still lots of parents were overprotective fren who were about my age still experienced this and waiting to get off from that kind of life(even-tho she's having master):(
    Just be strong..there will alwiz someone who will listen to u..
    Yet, we have diff. family background coz my parent divorce since i was 3, so my sibling was allowed to do whatever we want as long as we can take care of our self..yea..sumtimez we will still dengar bebelan mama..but one day she understand us..
    Don't worry..they will realized that children nowadays don't want to be treated like small child..we wanna to be more as friends..that can share our thoughts..have fun together..and all... least..we can be stronger in our feelings though..hahah :)
    Just enjoy life yeah :P

    P/S: Just a note from one quite stubborn teen from those days when i was a teenagers :)

  2. thanks alot kak izani! appreciate it so much! :) <3